Randi Kreiss

Inside the Herald: the view from my desk

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Sometimes people ask me what it’s like to write for a weekly newspaper — specifically, what it’s like to write an opinion column. I’ve been fascinated by The New York Times’ series “Inside the Times,” which reveals the stories within the stories, from the reporters’ points of view. So I thought you might like a peek behind the Herald curtain.

Writing a column, which I’ve done since the ’80s, requires several hours a week, plus trolling time. Trolling is keeping alert all week to the news, social trends, family events and conversations and encounters that might yield an idea that might develop into a column. For example, when I watched a YouTube video to learn how to break into my parents’ old safe to retrieve what they thought were vital documents, I knew I had a column.

You need a willingness to share both intimate thoughts and pieces of your life, and a promise to yourself to keep it real. Readers have a nose for authenticity, and I owe you that, for starters. When I sit down to write, I try not to think about who will be reading my column. Once I start to worry about offending Mr. Pompous Ass or pleasing Ms. Humorless Tight Buns, I start to slide down the middle of the road toward vanilla. I’d rather be provocative than popular.

Being in a somewhat reflective mood today, I thought I’d just share my process with you.

I write on Fridays, mostly, but my column begins earlier in the week as I go about my days, working, reading, walking and talking with friends and family. Sometimes a topic just grabs me and won’t let go. But it has to fit into the weekly news cycle. For example, this week I started to write a column headline: “Ho, ho, ho, the Donald must go.” But then I thought, what if he resigns or is thrown out of the running by the time the column is published? Then it’s a big, boring afterthought.

I also considered a perspective piece about the thrill of sitting on the sidelines and watching democracy unfold as the presidential race takes ever more fascinating and unprecedented loops and turns. But, just like a roller coaster, this ride is also making me sick and a bit terrified, and it’s changing by the day, so I’ll wait a bit.

Of course, there’s always the seasonal column. Can’t go too wrong writing about summer reads, new tech trends (Pokémon Go) or foods particular to our part of the Island: corn, clams and farm stand pies.

I did consider writing about the Zika epidemic closing in on Florida and points north. Seems to me that we’re facing a national health crisis and no one in government is communicating a real plan for dealing with the problem. But then, just thinking about diseased mosquitoes short-circuited my writing wires.

The hardest part of writing a column is this process of selecting an idea. This year I’ve written 28 columns so far. I’ve talked about the advantages of having dogs instead of kids, North Korea, Hillary’s campaign, Bill’s sex life, Trump’s rise to power, ice cream, travel in the age of terrorism, books for the holidays, my aging parents, travel to Berlin, Granny Pods, gun violence, transgender rights and medical marijuana, among other topics.

Writing for a weekly is a special enterprise, because I live in my community and I can’t be anonymous. When I walk into Food Town and some lady starts shaking her fist at me, that is immediate feedback. Sometimes people I talk to tell me something and then say, “Don’t write about this.” As if I would. You can’t betray people in print.

Even when I write about my family, it’s with their good-natured permission. Other people say, “Oh, I know all your family secrets. I read your column.” Yeah, right. When I write my book, it will include all the stuff I’ve had to leave out. And it will be a door-stop.

Recently a reader said that I haven’t been very funny lately. Well, the world hasn’t been much of a hoot. Still, there are always silly moments, and I keep trying to find them.

Writing for a weekly, you know right away if you’ve written something flat or infuriating or if you’ve smacked a home run out of the park. I get lots of email and voice mail from people who freely offer their criticism and praise. I appreciate that.

They remind me that I’m only as good as my last 750 words. I try to hold on to that thought. It’s a great motivator.

Copyright © 2016 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at randik3@aol.com.