The Mom win-win

I never plan it but sometimes I speak with my heart acting as filter. This mostly happens when I talk with strangers, parents who experience concerning or confusing moments with their kids. Luckily, there is what I have come to call the Mom win-win.

An example: On an elevator I watched a very little girl laughing and enjoying the ride with her Mom. My tongue-in-cheek comment? "She's having WAY too much fun."

Mom smiled and agreed that given her daughter's age, it was easy to be a Mom, but not so much with her teen son.

"Just the other day he called me an idiot and when I called him out on it he then said he was just joking," Mom admitted.

"He's just testing his audience," I said. "He knew he had to 'roll back' his remark when he went too far. Don't worry, it gets better."

And as the ride came to an end, without hesitation she said she felt encouraged and thanked me. The Mom win-win.

The second time was more complicated. A salon employee was asking about my family and before I knew it she expressed real concern for her own. Although she was successfully working for an American company, her teenage children and parents were half way around the world in Gabon. Her daughter, bright and hardworking, wanted desperately to fit in with her "friends" who were anything but. Angry phone fights with her mom typically ended with "You just don't understand."

However, Mom further explained that her father, her child's grandpa, was the person her daughter always turned to when it was time to talk. This was the man her daughter chose to trust, share and feel safe with.

Egos aside, I reminded Mom how lucky she and her child were. This was her dad, the man who could be relied on to help raise a granddaughter as fine as his daughter. And oh yes, don't worry, it gets better.

"You made my day," she said, hugging me closely. The unexpected hug made my day too. Mom win-win.

In short, each woman was gracious, sharing something personal with someone she would never see again. I don't know why I blurt out my truth — maybe because I simply mean it.

Besides, there will always be shared comfort as parents in knowing we are not alone with our hopes and dreams for ourselves and our children. Ultimately it would be nice to be the center of our family's universe, but that's not to be.

And that's okay. Based on a humble conversation we all can learn that – another Mom win-win.

A contributing writer to the Herald since 2012, Lauren Lev is an East Meadow resident and a direct marketing/advertising executive who teaches advertising and marketing communications courses at the Fashion Institute of Technology/SUNY, LIU Post and SUNY Old Westbury.