Obituary: Howard “Dorian” Friedman

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Howard “Dorian” Friedman, of Oceanside, died on June 15, of cancer. He was born on April 8, 1944, and raised in Oceanside. He is a graduate of Oceanside High School, and the University of Toledo. A retired pharmacist, he was passionate about music and was a prolific songwriter.

He was married to his “best friend,” Nancy Friedman, for 36 years, and is survived as well by his sister, Phyllis DeNicola; his three children, Manda Galin and Jordan Hollender and Scott Friedman; and their spouses, Michael, Diane and Rachel, as well as two grandchildren, Dylan and Lauren Galin.

“He was a musician — not by trade, but he loved writing and composing music, especially jazz,” Galin said. “He was a beautiful songwriter. One of my favorites is called ‘Today is My Day.’ We used to all sit around the piano and sing it a lot. It’s a positive, happy song. He wrote it for my mom. My brothers and I were arguing about which was our favorite one.”

“We also liked ‘Wishful Thinking,’” Hollender added. “It went, ‘Look out the window. Don’t see the city. I pretend to see the river rolling down to other places.’ He wrote it when he lived on 10th Street and Sixth Avenue in New York City, above a pharmacy he owned.”

Scott is also a songwriter, has two top 10 songs on Billboard Hot 100 charts now — “Don’t Let Me Down,” by the Chainsmokers, and “Treat You Better,” by Shawn Mendes.

“His other love was gardening,” Galin said. “Even if he wasn’t planting, he would walk around in the garden. He planted everything — flowers, fruits, trees. His favorite was peas because they were so prolific. There wasn’t anything he didn’t know about flowers, birds or plant species everything.”

“When he could not longer garden,” Hollender said, “my wife would plant for him, and he would be the ‘manager.’”

“He loved to play basketball,” Galin added. “He played in a men’s league, and once they managed to rent Madison Square Garden for a game. He played until he was 67.”

“Toward the end of his life, he picked up Qigong” — an ancient Chinese technique that integrates posture and breathing with focus — “and he would do that and meditate for about five minutes,” Hollender said. “It would bring him to a quiet place.”

Friedman was happiest when he could listen to music. His favorite artist was Bill Evans, according to Galin. The hospital even brought in a music therapist the day before he died.

He fought lung cancer for five years. His children said they believe he was given those extra years after his initial diagnosis because of the clinical trials he was involved in. He worked with Drs. James Holland and Alexandra Shaw at Mount Sinai Hospital.

“He and my mom were on all kinds of blogs, and looked at everything about cancer on the Web,” Galin said. “He got to see some major family events during those extra years, including my daughter performing at Carnegie Hall and my son’s bar mitzvah. He saw Scott get married and heard his songs on the radio. He even got to Florida to see his grandson pay basketball.”

Nancy was a long-time employee of the Herald. She also battled cancer, and was hospitalized, undergoing surgery for an unrelated health issue, when her husband died. She is recovering at home now.

Donations can be made to Alice Shaw Research, in memory of Howard Friedman, Massachusetts General Hospital, Development Office, 125 Nashua St., Suite 540, Boston, Mass. 02114, or at www.giving.massgeneral.org.