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Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Ho-hum ‘good’ marriages
(Page 2 of 3)
Linda Sapadin

3. Notice how your spouse is changing — in a good way.
Often the people we know the best, we pay attention to the least. This sounds counterintuitive, yet it’s true. Once we start to see our spouse as predictable, we end up seeing what we expect to see. So, if she’s shy and he’s the talker in the family, it may take him a long time to notice that she’s much more at ease these days when she’s with friends and even when meeting new people. And, of course, if he hasn’t noticed her growth, he hasn’t applauded her change. Is it any wonder then that many couples get more positive kudos from friends and co-workers than from their own spouses? Reverse this tendency.

4. Do something special and unexpected for your spouse
It’s so easy for us to get into routines with the people we know best. This is good news and bad news. Routines allow life to be easier, freeing up our energy to do other things. But if routine becomes, well, too routine, it’s time to spice it up a bit. Do something unexpected for your spouse. It could be a loving back rub, an out-the-blue compliment, an unexpected gift, an evening of romance. And don’t make what you do for your spouse a have-to. That’s dull and onerous. Think of it as a want-to that piques your creativity and excitement.


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