The symptoms are undeniable: Fitful sleep, uncontrollable excitement, malaise, dissociation and, of course, hysterical public outbursts of “I won’t get in, I WON’T get IN!” There can be only one diagnosis, and that is: college fever.
College fever is an illness that afflicts hundreds of thousands of seniors today. More than likely, you may personally know someone who has it: a friend, a neighbor, or a family member. The afflicted walk among us in broad daylight. Many who have it may not even show symptoms.
The incubation period spans from several years to a matter of weeks. The disease may lie dormant for so long, spread so insidiously, that the results can well overpower the victim when it finally reveals itself. As December approaches, more and more students are succumbing to its effects, and the spread appears inevitable.
My dear reader, I have a confession: I myself have been a long-time carrier of this sickness. Only now am I beginning to feel the full power of its fury. As the virus travels to my central nervous system, every fiber of being becomes entangled in the wild, desperate pursuit for collegial acceptance.
The date Jan. 1 is permanently burned into the backs of my eyelids. My vision is clouded with a rabid haze of standardized testing and college visits. Essay prompts weave in and out of my dreams, and many a night I’ve awoken, screaming: “Did I forget to turn in my teacher recommendation requests?”
My illness has slowly crept along and infected those near to me. Indeed, even minute exposure to the ill can result in contact stress and irritability. I gravely warn you, dear reader, that this disease is one that must be carefully controlled and contained to avoid its spread.
Though the new year may bring relief to the sick, the current suffering cannot merely be ignored. Taking precautions, the healthy should provide assistance to the sick through positive feedback and, perhaps, baked goods. The ill may self-medicate by stepping back and taking a breath every now and then. Though the fever rages day in and day out, simply clocking out and reading a book for a while can prove therapeutic.
The battles with the disease may be hard, but if we can pull through this, then the resulting victory come spring will be worth all of the difficulties endured. Thus I encourage my fellow sufferers to hold on — for only time it seems, will eradicate this illness.