Can we really legislate sexual behavior?

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As we prepare our young women for college, we must not forget “the talk” about how they can keep themselves safe. Actually, back up: That talk should begin when they turn 5 or 6. And it must be extended and expanded and tweaked as years pass and our daughters move farther from home and out into the world.

Hear the sound of the glass ceiling shattering? See the female captain in the cockpit? Thinking about a woman president? Progress toward gender equality is a fine thing, but it doesn’t translate to greater safety for women in the world.

According to the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault, one in four women will be sexually attacked during her college years. Some 80 percent of the assailants will be friends or acquaintances. Most women will not report the incident. Those who do may find campus authorities less than enthusiastic about investigating or adjudicating the case. Hurt heaped upon hurt.

The horror of forced sex is too often compounded by the humiliation of living through the experience alone and in silence.

We know these facts. In a misguided effort to address the problem more directly, the California state legislature is considering Senate Bill 967, which would require schools in the state to uphold a new affirmative consent standard. This could be coming to a neighborhood near you.

The law would require both partners to indicate their consent to sexual activity, unambiguously and clearly. Only yes would mean yes.

Somehow, I can’t imagine 17- and 18-year-olds solemnly declaring their consent as a prelude to a sexual encounter. Given the complexity of sexual relationships, isn’t it unrealistic to require teenagers to say, “Yes, I would like to have sex with you” before moving on to the next step?

To me, the proposed law seems clumsy and unenforceable. It strains to impose legal standards on the most complex and mysterious of human interactions, during which there are often missed signs and signals. Virtually every sitcom and movie plays on the confusion of romantic moments.

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