Five Towns aims to begin a discussion on substance abuse

Community awareness event draws hundreds to Congregation Beth Sholom in Lawrence

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Connecting religion, culture and the universal love parents have for their children were the focal points of a nearly two-hour community meeting that packed Congregation Beth Sholom’s synagogue in Lawrence on Monday as Five Towns residents listened attentively and through index cards asked several questions of the assembled panel who tried to the address a challenging question: “Our kids know about drugs. Do we?”

The seven-member panel moderated by Rabbi Boruch Ber Bender, founder and president of the Achiezer Community Resource Center, aimed to offer parents a path to help their children not make destructive decisions and aid them if a child has already become a victim of substance abuse.

The Marion & Aaron Gural JCC helped organize the event, with the assistance of several other Five Towns organizations, agencies and rabbis, including Ya’akov Trump, the associate rabbi at Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst.

Panelists included social worker Karen Bayer; Rivka Drebin, a master social worker and parent; Rabbi Dr. Aaron Glatt of Woodmere, chairman of the Department of Medicine and Hospital Epidemiologist at South Nassau Communities Hospital in Oceanside; Rabbi Kenneth Hain, the spiritual leader of Congregation Beth Sholom; Shlomo Katz, a paramedic for Hatzalah; Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder; and Rabbi Dov Silver, founder and executive vice president of Woodmere-based Madraigos, a nonprofit that services and programs to help teenagers and young adults overcome challenges.

“Whatever parents think are important, the children will think is important,” said Glatt who conjoined the night’s topic to the coming holiday of Tisha B’Av. Noting a famous rabbi’s wisdom, he added, “When wine is around a person must be very careful.”

For a community that does not typically discuss substance abuse because of privacy considerations or the perceived shame, Katz was very blunt about seeing 15- and 16-year-olds drunk and responding to a house on Shabbos Hanukkah and not being able to revive a teenage girl. “During the kiddush on Shabbos with the scotch and bourbon, are we offering children addiction right in our homes?” he said, calling on people to be trained to administer Narcan, the opioid overdose reversing drug.

Ryder cited these numbers to say that drugs are a worse menance than school shootings. There are 50 million schoolchildren nationwide in the United States. From the school shooting at Columbine, in 1999 to a similar incident in Parkland, Fla., this year, 200 children were killed, he said. Compared to 200 young people who died from opioids in Nassau County in the past year, there is a one in 614 million chance of a child being killed in a school shooting, he said.

Drebin spoke about losing a son to substance abuse. “Addiction is shame-based illness,” she said. “[We have to] get over it and get treatment.” She touted the book by Diana Haskins, “Parent As Coach: Helping Your Teen Build a Life of Confidence, Courage and Compassion,” as a resource.

Using the words of her youthful patients, Bayer said: “Don’t pin it on the kids, we see you smoking weed, drinking. Set limits, curfews, be parents. Please hold us accountable for the money we spend, demand proof of our purchases.”
Silver said that “drugs work” “when in pain, it gets you out of pain,” and that is why these substances are so insidious. “Make an effort to reach out to a person who is sad,” he said.

Noting that parents might not see the problems that children have, Hain said, “Coming together brings this literally out of the closest. This is no different than any other medical challenge.”