'She was the fire in our family'

Melissa Joan McHenry, art student, lifeguard and employee at the Lynbrook Recreation Center, died suddenly of heart complications on May 9. She was 18.

“Life is different now … It’s just crazy,” said Patricia McHenry, Melissa’s mother.

Melissa was born on August 18, 1997 and graduated Lynbrook High School last year. She attended Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts, and recently declared as an Arts Management major. Friends and relatives said she was guided by a strong moral compass, and was best known for her sharp wit and delightful sense of humor. She even nicknamed her mother, “Woman,” and her father, Michael, “Hulk.”

“Kids always wanted to talk to her,” said Lynbrook Recreation Supervisor Andrea Campbell. “She always made them feel comfortable with her humorous personality … She had an old soul and really cared about the children and department. She came to visit me in December and January, which touched my heart. It showed how much she really cared. I miss telling her she was a pain in the butt.”

Melissa received her Girl Scouts Gold Award in April 2015 — the highest honor for a girl scout. She advocated for local veterans and donated a piece of artwork she made to the Lynbrook VFW. Patricia said Melissa felt “rushed,” during the project as she prepared for graduation and moving away to college, but that she shrugged it off by joking about how they hung her painting near the bar. She said Melissa’s attitude was, “If they had a few drinks in them, they wouldn’t notice.”

Melissa posted regularly posted updates and funny anecdotes on social media about her experiences at the recreation center. For Halloween, Melissa always opted for a goofy costume, Patricia said, most recently dressing up as Elvis and an overweight tourist. “She just always wanted to be funny,” Patricia said.

Melissa was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse when she was a child — a non-life-threatening condition where the heart valve doesn’t close smoothly. She saw a cardiologist every year, and even struck up a friendship with him. Patricia said that it was unclear if this condition played a role in her daughter’s death.

Family and friends also noted that Melissa had strong convictions, and gave a voice to the voiceless. Melissa stuck up for several other students when they were teased, and went out of her way to make people feel good about themselves, which Patricia said she only learned about after her death.

“I’m very proud of her, and I always was, but I didn’t know the whole impact she had on people,” Patricia said. “I feel like she always tried to make people know that she noticed them.

“One kid came up to me at the wake — I’d never seen him before in my life — and he was with his parents,” she said. “And he was in tears, and he was like, ‘It’s because of your daughter I’m joining the marines.’”

Patricia said the family frequented their Vermont house about six times per year, which was close to Melissa’s college. Trips to Vermont became a staple family outing — and Patricia said that Melissa seemed to be enjoying her first year at college, party because of how close it was to the Vermont home.

Melissa wrote about what the Vermont home meant to her in her college essay: “As a child, I took our magical surroundings and isolation [in Vermont] for granted, but now being a growing artist, I always use my ‘second home’ as a spark for my creativity.”

She wrote about how being isolated up in Vermont enhanced her love of film — specifically, her collection of Rodgers & Hammerstein musicals like “The King and I,” “The Sound of Music,” “Oklahoma,” and “South Pacific.”

Melissa is survived by her parents, Patricia and Michael, both 57, of Lynbrook; Her brother Michael, 22; and their two dogs, Ziggy and Keenan.

“She was the fire in our family,” Patricia said.

Patricia nicknamed Melissa “honey bee,” after the Greek translation of the name. Over the weekend, a bee landed on a sunflower in Patricia’s backyard. Immediately reminded of her daughter, she quickly whipped out her camera to document the moment.

“Hey girl, why did you have to leave so soon?” she said she thought to herself when she saw the bee. “We miss you.”