44.0°,
Mostly Cloudy 'Greatest achievement in the history of man'
(Page 2 of 3)
As we mark National Hot Dog Month in July, attention must be paid to the fact that Americans eat 20 billion dawgs a year. That’s about 70 per person. This July Fourth alone, Americans enjoyed 150 million dogs, enough to stretch from D.C. to L.A. more than five times.
If you care about its history — and I can’t really understand why you would, since the moral imperative is to accept and consume hot dogs as a fact of life — it is said that the sausage was first mentioned in Homer’s “The Odyssey” in the 9th century B.C. But who cares where it came from as long as it’s here? And don’t go roaming through Whole Foods trying to find organic tofu dogs. Every red-blooded American knows that the real thing is made from mysterious parts of cows and/or pigs, ground to a smooth substance and stuffed into casings.
Not everybody knows how to eat dogs, and according to the National Council of Sausages and Hot Dogs, there is most certainly a right and a wrong way to go about it. Let’s just banish, once and for all, the errant notion that the nouveau “Mexican” and “sushi” dogs have any right to exist. ’Nuf said.
A dog must be eaten with a proper bun, not bread, not a wrap or, heaven forbid, a bagel. Condiments go directly on the hot dog, never between the dog and the bun. You are never allowed to use a cloth napkin, a real plate or a fork when consuming dogs. Five bites are the rule of thumb for finishing a hot dog, six bites for small people and kids.
After the age of 18, you may never put ketchup on a dog. Mustard, chili, cheese and sauerkraut are acceptable. If any crumbs or drippings remain on your fingers, they must be licked off, not washed away.
One of the few things that put me off my gusto for hot dogs is watching someone eat 61 of them in 10 minutes. But as long as the cameras click, the annual dog competition is unlikely to change. Chestnut, whose full-time job is competitive eating, does not limit his heroics to hot dogs. He has eaten 121 Twinkies in six minutes, 15 pints of ice cream in five minutes, 141 hard-boiled eggs in eight minutes, and 140 chicken wings in six minutes, some with the bones. He says he enters about 22 contests a year and, in between, eats healthy and counts calories.
Hey, I just comment on the facts. I can’t begin to explain them.
If you care about its history — and I can’t really understand why you would, since the moral imperative is to accept and consume hot dogs as a fact of life — it is said that the sausage was first mentioned in Homer’s “The Odyssey” in the 9th century B.C. But who cares where it came from as long as it’s here? And don’t go roaming through Whole Foods trying to find organic tofu dogs. Every red-blooded American knows that the real thing is made from mysterious parts of cows and/or pigs, ground to a smooth substance and stuffed into casings.
Not everybody knows how to eat dogs, and according to the National Council of Sausages and Hot Dogs, there is most certainly a right and a wrong way to go about it. Let’s just banish, once and for all, the errant notion that the nouveau “Mexican” and “sushi” dogs have any right to exist. ’Nuf said.
A dog must be eaten with a proper bun, not bread, not a wrap or, heaven forbid, a bagel. Condiments go directly on the hot dog, never between the dog and the bun. You are never allowed to use a cloth napkin, a real plate or a fork when consuming dogs. Five bites are the rule of thumb for finishing a hot dog, six bites for small people and kids.
After the age of 18, you may never put ketchup on a dog. Mustard, chili, cheese and sauerkraut are acceptable. If any crumbs or drippings remain on your fingers, they must be licked off, not washed away.
One of the few things that put me off my gusto for hot dogs is watching someone eat 61 of them in 10 minutes. But as long as the cameras click, the annual dog competition is unlikely to change. Chestnut, whose full-time job is competitive eating, does not limit his heroics to hot dogs. He has eaten 121 Twinkies in six minutes, 15 pints of ice cream in five minutes, 141 hard-boiled eggs in eight minutes, and 140 chicken wings in six minutes, some with the bones. He says he enters about 22 contests a year and, in between, eats healthy and counts calories.
Hey, I just comment on the facts. I can’t begin to explain them.
Page 2 / 3
Report an inappropriate comment
Comments