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That’s The Way Things Are

Where, O Where Art Thou?

A couple of years ago, a buddy of mine told me that he obviously loves hanging out with all of us, meaning our group of friends, but he’d like to find the right girl and get married eventually. In that instance, it meant he was going on a first date that weekend instead of hanging with us. We’d all done that many times, which he pointed out as well.

The concept of “the one” is a hard one to wrap our minds around. There are certainly a few different ways to look at it, and the way each person chooses is determined by individual beliefs and experiences. For me, though, I’ve noticed that my views on the topic have changed a bit over the years.

Up until a few years ago, I had the belief that everyone (or at least the vast majority of people) has that one, individual, special person out there who’s “the one” for them. That one person who is the perfect fit for them in every way, who makes their heart sing and makes them happy in every way. And that they’re out there, waiting to be found.

Hmmm… maybe not.

Looking back on that now, for better or worse, I view that perspective as being rather naïve and, point blank, just young.

As you know from what I’ve mentioned in a few of my previous columns, over the years I’ve frequently had some rather, um, interesting experiences in my dating life. I’ve certainly had some immensely positive experiences in this arena, but I’ve also definitely had some that fall on the negative side of the spectrum.

I’m a big believer in trying to make something positive out of negative things if at all possible, and I’ve used those more negative dating and relationship ventures as learning experiences… to take a second and step back and evaluate what happened and why, and also re-evaluate my thoughts about things in the big picture.

And through the experiences I’ve had over …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Public Enemy #1

Osama bin Laden... UBL... Usama bin Laden...

No matter how you spell his name, it's true... we got him.

Finally.

It's about time, huh?

10 years later, we finally got him.

I was out with a bunch of friends watching a WWE Pay-Per View, of all things. Yes, I’m a pro wrestling fan… get over it.

I started getting a ton of emails saying that President Obama was going to make a last minute statement at 10:30 PM that night. But it didn’t say what his statement was going to be about.

Naturally, I started to wonder what Obama was going to speak about. I began to debate if it would be regarding Muammar Ghaddafi’s son and grandsons being killed in a NATO airstrike earlier that weekend. Or if there were a brand new development in the Middle East. Or if it was something completely different and something that hadn’t hit the news cycle quite yet.

Never in a million years did it even enter my thought process that Obama would be announcing that the United States had killed a major terrorist threat, much less the most wanted man on the planet, Osama bin Laden. But as the Pay-Per-View ended and we turned to CNN, I soon discovered that was precisely what had occurred (in addition to learning that Obama was already running late to making his statement).

When the news coverage confirmed that was, in fact, what had happened, feelings of shock, happiness, and sadness (yes, sadness as well) came over me. Shock, because it’s certainly not every day that the most wanted person on the planet gets taken out, not to mention that nothing at all was leaked to the public at any point in the months of intelligence gathering stages of the operation or its ultimate execution.

Happiness, since, of course, the mastermind behind the 9/11 plot, as well as other attacks on U.S. citizens, and citizens of many of our allies as well, had been taken out and brought to justice.

…   More

Rockville Centre Guest Column

'Silly you! The budget passed'

On March 31, Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced “historic” budget reforms that will slash $10 billion in current spending, assuming a redesign of state government, creation of efficiencies through consolidation, capping spending increases for education and Medicaid and transforming the budgeting process going forward.

Additional reductions totaling $45.3 billion are forecast through 2015, of which 86 percent involves less aid to localities.

Cuomo said bipartisan cooperation will give New Yorkers the “good” budget they deserve. Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos said, “This budget is a responsible budget that meets our goals of cutting spending, reducing taxes and empowering the private sector to create jobs.” Even Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver was surprisingly amicable, suggesting the budget will “restore New Yorkers’ faith and confidence in government, making it more efficient and more productive.”

These pronouncements, while nice to hear, hype the evident realities. We are being asked to buy into a budget that:

assumes real savings will be realized by “redesigning” a badly flawed system of government by decree, almost overnight. Really?

It hardly addresses programs that no longer serve the public good.

assumes the stimulation of revenues with the introduction of a “modernized tax system.”

assumes “Medicaid costs will only grow at their proposed target rates,” etc.

In my column, “Stop playing games with the budget deficit” (Feb. 3), I wrote “the oft-quoted budget deficit continues to hang over our heads like a dark cloud.” Little did I realize how correct that was. On Feb. 23, during a speech at St. Joseph’s College, Cuomo called our state budget numbers “scary” and said the process leading to its preparation is “a sham…. an illusion foisted on the unsuspecting citizenry by craven special interest groups and their corrupt enablers, career Albany politicians.”

If …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Free Cookies!

They look so good and tasty…

And they’re just sitting out there, in the open, for anyone to take.

The cookies and doughnuts at the bakery… at the supermarket… are what I’m talking about, of course.

The pastries at the supermarket are put into unlocked shelves in the front of the bakery section and people are trusted to not steal them and eat them as they shop.

But when I was in the supermarket the other day, I saw a woman who took it upon herself to just grab a few of those cookies and scarf them down, at no cost to herself.

Yes, that’s my politically correct way of saying she didn’t pay for them.

Now, obviously, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen something of this sort in the supermarket, whether pastries in the bakery, or a piece of fruit, or even a bag of chips. But this instance got my mind moving again on the topic. Not necessarily the “stealing” of the cookies in and of itself but, rather, the whole taking without paying thing.

As a society — globally, not just as a nation — we all enter into a social contract with one another (thank you, John Locke). Basically, what this means is, all of us, as people living in the same community and world, agree to abide by certain rules and standards and accept responsibility in many situations to protect other people from things on the negative side of the spectrum.

Clearly, that woman — and the others I’ve seen doing the same in supermarkets — didn’t get the memo.

People break that contract all the time, and on bigger scales, certainly. People steal from electronics stores, clothing stores, rob other people’s homes… and just the other day, a popular jewelry store in Hewlett was robbed, with its staff still inside and working.

And let’s not forget the even bigger fractures of the social contract: people harass, …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Happy Birthday

Wow, this is going to be a tough one to write.

I’m actually feeling a little queasy as I start to write this, come to think of it.

Admittedly, I’m not entirely sure how to start…

OK, here we go…

Remember a few weeks ago I wrote a column discussing how I’ve had some, shall we say, “interesting” experiences with dating and girlfriends? Well, here’s a specific story on that front… triggered by the fact that my ex-girlfriend’s birthday was last week.

We’ve been broken up for a couple of months now, and I’ve been dating and I’m sure she has, as well — not that I know this for a fact or anything, but it’s a relatively safe assumption.

Still, I can’t help that I’m aware of it and my brain acknowledges it.

It’s how my mind is wired, for better or worse. I can’t help it.

We ended quite terribly. Everything appeared to be fine. We were on the phone finalizing our plans for the upcoming weekend together, which included our Valentine’s Day plans, before she went into the shower.

Yes, we broke up just a few days before Valentine’s Day. I had to return the gifts I’d already gotten for her. Sucks, huh?

Then she got into the shower, came back out, and was an entirely different person. She called me back, crying hysterically. What the hell happened in that now infamous — in my mind anyway — shower?

I could finally decipher her saying that something was bothering her about me and/or us. I’m not sure which, but that much I was finally able to understand from her.

But she wouldn’t tell me WHAT it was. And to this very day, I still don’t know. I tried for the next 24 hours to get her to tell me, but she refused. She said it was “too hard” to tell me, and she “couldn’t tell me.” I …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

What’s The Real Bottom Line?

I stopped by the drive through window at Burger King on my way home one day last week to use a coupon for a free four-piece box of chicken tenders (I needed a snack to hold me over until dinner… I eat a lot… gimme a break). When I arrived at the pickup window, I asked for an extra sauce, and I was told it would be 25 cents additional.

An extra 25 cents? For one lousy extra sauce? Really?

I know the economy is in the toilet and the bottom line for all companies has become ever more important and they’re all pinching pennies — even big companies like Burger King. After all, we’re in what’s most likely the worst economy this country has seen since the Great Depression (which started back in October 1929).

But, is it really necessary to be THAT frugal? With the bulk amounts that Burger King purchases EVERTHING in, relative to the amount of business they do, they surely get everything at an incredibly cheap per unit price, including those sauce packs they dispense. And while I, of course, have no precise numbers to go on, if each of those sauces cost the company more than two cents I’d be shocked.

I was listening to CBS News Radio during a drive home a couple of months ago, when they broadcasted a report on a new economic study. They said that the average American currently eats out approximately three times a week. With the poor economy, though, fast food chains are getting a lot of that business. So, with the traffic for those restaurants remaining relatively steady even in this poor economic climate, obviously, business isn’t that bad.

So where do companies draw the line between pinching pennies (literally, pennies, at times) and customer satisfaction and loyalty? In this economy, many companies are offering discounts on their products — whether it be clothing, electronics, or food — to generate increased revenue, while others take the opposite route and …   More

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