Oceanside library bridges generations with book discussion

Last Tuesday, an unlikely group consisting of 11-year-olds, seniors citizens and local educators gathered in a downstairs event space at the Oceanside Library to discuss “A Monster Calls,” an award wining novel about disease, grief and loneliness, written by Patrick Ness, and released in late 2016 as a movie.

The discussion, much like the book itself, fluctuated between fantasy and reality. The 13-year-old protagonist Connor is visited nightly by a monster, which tells him stories that speak to his struggle to make sense of his mother’s battle with cancer.

Participants touched on the different cultural attitudes toward disease. The novel is set in Britain, and the people in Connor’s life appear to follow the British ideal of the “stiff upper lip,” which makes him feel isolated, because it seems to him that no one understands what he is going through.

One of the seniors present mentioned that it used to be the same way in the U.S. She mentioned that cancer, until recently, was referred to euphemistically as “the big C.” “Nobody wants to think about it, nobody wants to talk about it, but we’re all going to die,” she said. Some participants seemed to be taken aback by her bluntness.

Although one of the major themes in the book was the downside of sheltering children from the darker sides of reality, some of the adults in the room still said that they didn’t think the book was age appropriate. One mother conceded, “Good discussion has been happening here,” but, she said, “I never would have chosen this book… All this death, I really don’t know. I found the pictures very disturbing.”

The kids in the room, prompted by the discussion’s moderator Edna Ritzenberg, said that they could handle it. All of them said they enjoyed the book. A few of the boys said that they teared up at the end. Steven Plesser, 11, said “I liked the book because it taught me something… If this happened to my friend, I wouldn’t know how to feel empathy for them, because this never happened to me, and this really taught me what it’s like.”

Janet Pearsall, a recently retired social worker said “A Monster Calls” is a good way to teach about the stages of grief. “I would almost use this to help somebody,” she said. “It’s his journey, and everybody else’s journey around him.”

At one point, Ritzenberg asked whether Connor’s story would have been different had he lived in Oceanside.

Elaine Eckers, a kindergarten teacher at School No. 6 replied proudly, “He would have been handled in Oceanside.” The teachers in the room laughed and agreed. Sandie Schoell, Oceanside School Board vice president, said after the event that Oceanside’s teachers are extremely dedicated, and that she would expect staff to take a hands-on approach to any student they thought might be in crisis. “I mean look at how many teachers turned out tonight,” she said. A vast majority of participants had raised their hands when Ritzenberg asked educators to identify themselves.

“A child like Connor would have so much help and support in this community because we have so many staff who really care,” Schoell said. “They do so many different things for our kids. And their participating in this event is just one example of that.”