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That’s The Way Things Are

My World

Screw you.

No, I’m serious.

I’m going to do whatever the hell I want.

I mean, I might as well take a page out of everyone else’s book and at least even the playing field.

After all, this is the mentality that an awful lot of people abide by, and I had a personal experience again last weekend which is a perfect illustration of this unfortunate trend. I was at the beach club in Atlantic Beach, sitting in an open area doing some work on my laptop. For years I’ve done this at the club without incident. But in the middle of the afternoon, four or five little kids came running through, maybe six, seven, eight years old or so. One little boy with a water gun — looking right at me and seeing a laptop — fired his water gun and sent water all over my keyboard and mouse pad.

Now let’s be clear, right from the start… This isn’t about the kid. He’s eight years old. Kids make mistakes and that’s how they learn — I hope — so that they don’t make the same mistakes when they get older and become adolescents and then adults.

This is about the parents.

When I found his parents and went over to them to discuss what happened, their response was beyond obnoxious. Since it was a child and since it occurred in a public area, they insisted, they aren’t at all responsible. And they had a major attitude about it, telling me I could even talk to cops and lawyers if I’d want to see that they’re correct.

Really?

You really believe that you have no responsibility for your child, because, in effect, he is a child? And also tossing in for good measure, since it occurred in a public area for club members?

REALLY?

You don’t think you’re accountable for your children and their behavior? What the hell goes through your mind that you actually believe…

No, never mind. I’m not even going to go there. That’s another column in …   More

Updated

L.B. teen struck by SUV is ‘improving’

Abdul Bird, the 14-year-old Long Beach Middle School student who was hit by an SUV while skateboarding on Lido Boulevard at Greenway Road on June 19, continues to show signs of improvement, according to his wrestling coach, Miguel Rodriguez.

“Abdul has been taken out of the ICU and relocated to the adolescent recovery unit,” Rodriguez said after visiting Bird on June 24 at North Shore-LIJ. “His condition is improving. He is responding to commands, but still unable to speak.”

After a visit from his wrestling coach last week, Bird was said to be moving his arms and legs, but was still unconscious.

“He opened his eyes for me and nodded his head when I asked him questions,” Rodriguez said.

Police said the incident occurred at 7:55 a.m. on June 19, when a 2011 Mercedes Benz travelling west on Lido Boulevard struck the eighth-grader, who was skateboarding east. According to 4th Squad detectives, Bird was taken to Long Beach Medical Center and then airlifted to Nassau University Medical Center in East Meadow, where he was listed in critical condition.

He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the accident, and Nassau County Police Department spokesman James Imperiale said that Bird sustained a serious head injury. He was later transferred to North Shore-LIJ.

Schools Superintendent David Weiss said that Bird, a member of the Long Beach Gladiators wrestling team, was on his way to the middle school for a rehearsal for Wednesday’s moving up ceremony when the incident occurred. Bird’s family could not be reached for comment.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the student and his family and friends,” Weiss said in a statement. “We hope for a full and quick recovery.”

Bird’s doctors have declined to provide an update on his condition.

Alex Michelman, whose son was on the wrestling team with Bird, said that stretch of Lido Blvd. is particularly hazardous for students who walk to school because sections of the sidewalks …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

To Pray, or Not to Pray?

To all of my Jewish brethren out there, Shana Tova and I hope that you had an easy fast.

It is, of course, the High Holy Days for those of us in the Jewish religion, where we celebrate the new year, and repent for our sins of the last year.

For many of us, however, it’s also the first time we’ve been to temple since the High Holy Days twelve months ago.

I know that I’m in that grouping…

I’ve not always been that way, though. Up until a handful of years ago, I used to go to services a couple of times a month. Not even for holidays. Just to go…

No, I’m not apathetic, and no, I’m not lazy…

Fine, I’ll just say it… I have a problem with religion.

There, are you happy now?

And to clarify, I don’t have a problem with just my religion, but religion in general, across the board.

It just doesn’t feel right to me. So many elements of the empirical beliefs of all religions, whether Judaism of Catholicism or Mormonism or any of the others, and the idea of religion as a whole, that I can’t wrap my head around lately. As hard as I try, it just doesn’t add up and make sense for me.

And let’s be clear, it’s not an arbitrary, non-sensical issue with religion. I have what I consider to be some genuine beefs with the concept of religion, and believing in a “higher power” and “all knowing entity” so to speak.

I have issues believing that if I simply pray for something, it will help it to actually happen. What about our own actions? Don’t they matter? Doesn’t our behavior, or lack thereof, have relevance? Doesn’t logic suggest that our actions would be the much more dominant and overriding factor in what actually does and doesn’t occur?

I have issues buying into the idea that religions have as a tenet, whichever religion you subscribe to, that G-d, regardless of which G-d you believe in, needs …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Do You Want an Angel or a Devil?

 

Who do you want to end up with?

Angel vs. Devil. The continual battle…

Well, not quite to that extent, but the empirical premise holds true.  More accurately in this case, for us guys anyway, the party girl vs. the nice girl. For you ladies out there, the bad boy vs. the nice guy who treats you well.

I’ve had a number of conversations with friends on the topic over the last several years. The yield of those conversations, to an extent has surprised me.

Time to time, a friend of mine has told me that they’d like to end up with the bad boy or the party girl. This is kind of perplexing to me, frankly. I mean, the behaviors that go with those types of personalities aren’t exactly conducive to having a productive and successful marriage.

Going out and getting wasted, flirting with other people “just for fun,” the potential of having an affair, acting selfish in a variety of ways, etc. all are traits that to one extent or another go along with the bad boys and the party girls. How that lends itself to being an element of a positive and healthy relationship, well, I don’t understand.

And then there’s the nice girls and the nice guys who treat women well. They keep their behavior on the appropriate side of the line and behave toward their partners in a terrific way and are respectful, etc. They’re sweet and caring and genuinely care about their relationships and the person who’s in it with them.

Most of the time though when I’ve had these conversations with friends, they’ve gone with the “logical” answer, so to speak. Usually, they’ve said that they’ll go out with them, but just for some fun and not for something serious. Since as they’ve said, you don’t marry the bad boy or the party girl. And when actually considering a partner for life, they want the nice guy or nice girl.

Makes sense, right?

Now don’t get …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

What’s The Real Bottom Line?

I stopped by the drive through window at Burger King on my way home one day last week to use a coupon for a free four-piece box of chicken tenders (I needed a snack to hold me over until dinner… I eat a lot… gimme a break). When I arrived at the pickup window, I asked for an extra sauce, and I was told it would be 25 cents additional.

An extra 25 cents? For one lousy extra sauce? Really?

I know the economy is in the toilet and the bottom line for all companies has become ever more important and they’re all pinching pennies — even big companies like Burger King. After all, we’re in what’s most likely the worst economy this country has seen since the Great Depression (which started back in October 1929).

But, is it really necessary to be THAT frugal? With the bulk amounts that Burger King purchases EVERTHING in, relative to the amount of business they do, they surely get everything at an incredibly cheap per unit price, including those sauce packs they dispense. And while I, of course, have no precise numbers to go on, if each of those sauces cost the company more than two cents I’d be shocked.

I was listening to CBS News Radio during a drive home a couple of months ago, when they broadcasted a report on a new economic study. They said that the average American currently eats out approximately three times a week. With the poor economy, though, fast food chains are getting a lot of that business. So, with the traffic for those restaurants remaining relatively steady even in this poor economic climate, obviously, business isn’t that bad.

So where do companies draw the line between pinching pennies (literally, pennies, at times) and customer satisfaction and loyalty? In this economy, many companies are offering discounts on their products — whether it be clothing, electronics, or food — to generate increased revenue, while others take the opposite route and …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

They’ve Got Driver’s Licenses?

Driving turns people into morons.

OK, maybe that’s a little harsh.

I mean, being behind the wheel turns a lot of people into morons, I suppose I should say.

Maybe not you, perhaps, but certainly a good number of our fellow drivers.

This topic is consistently on my mind and shown to be true, unfortunately, because of the consistency with which I encounter ridiculousness on the road. But it really jumped a bit more to the forefront of my consciousness again after something that occurred at the end of last week.

I was at my library here in Hewlett doing some work, in a study room with a window that looks out onto the parking lot. I heard some honking out there so I turned to my left to see out the window a silver Toyota cut off — of all people — my mother, to slide into a handicapped parking space.

Irate, I jumped out of my seat and walked out the front door. The driver of the car in question, a man in his 60’s or so, was still outside, in front of his car, and I told him I had just watched him cut off my mother’s car to take the handicapped spot in which his car now sat. He insisted that he hadn’t cut anyone off and that he zipped over to the spot from the other side of the lot — despite seeing my mother’s car sitting right there with her signal on — because he’d been “waiting 20 minutes” for a space.

I explained to him that a person couldn’t “steal” his space just because he had been waiting far away at the other side of the parking lot, and to my surprise, he actually grudgingly moved his car. I couldn’t believe what I’d seen, nor his ridiculous response and rationale. And perhaps what was most shocking to me… he actually seemed to genuinely believe what he was saying to me.

This is just the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Like me, I’m sure you all have seen a plethora of different …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Free Cookies!

They look so good and tasty…

And they’re just sitting out there, in the open, for anyone to take.

The cookies and doughnuts at the bakery… at the supermarket… are what I’m talking about, of course.

The pastries at the supermarket are put into unlocked shelves in the front of the bakery section and people are trusted to not steal them and eat them as they shop.

But when I was in the supermarket the other day, I saw a woman who took it upon herself to just grab a few of those cookies and scarf them down, at no cost to herself.

Yes, that’s my politically correct way of saying she didn’t pay for them.

Now, obviously, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen something of this sort in the supermarket, whether pastries in the bakery, or a piece of fruit, or even a bag of chips. But this instance got my mind moving again on the topic. Not necessarily the “stealing” of the cookies in and of itself but, rather, the whole taking without paying thing.

As a society — globally, not just as a nation — we all enter into a social contract with one another (thank you, John Locke). Basically, what this means is, all of us, as people living in the same community and world, agree to abide by certain rules and standards and accept responsibility in many situations to protect other people from things on the negative side of the spectrum.

Clearly, that woman — and the others I’ve seen doing the same in supermarkets — didn’t get the memo.

People break that contract all the time, and on bigger scales, certainly. People steal from electronics stores, clothing stores, rob other people’s homes… and just the other day, a popular jewelry store in Hewlett was robbed, with its staff still inside and working.

And let’s not forget the even bigger fractures of the social contract: people harass, …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Who’s Really Chicken?

I’m back from a brief hiatus, and just in time in fact, to see the United States default for the first time in history.

Oh… Wait, what?

We didn’t default? A last–minute deal was struck to avoid the default?

Oh, ok, thanks for straightening me out on that.

I mean, it seemed that we were destined for a default, considering how our duly elected representatives in Washington DC were playing a game of political chicken with the negotiations. Watching the back and forth between the parties, it appeared that getting the edge on the political front was more in play than actually coming to terms on a compromise and keeping the country fully operational.

Really? That’s your priority? Advancing the cause of your respective political party, not keeping your nation properly fiscally functional? Not to mention trying to make the opposition party look bad and blaming them for the mess with some political cheap shots, in an effort to help your re-election cause, even while knowing that something like 96% of incumbents retain their seats.

Really?

This is just one instance, however, of the bigger issue — we are an extremely polarized nation, politically.

This is a “chicken or egg” situation though. Which came first — the intense animosity in Washington magnified through the lens of the media and then rubbing off on the population? Or, the public at large becoming more and more intense and politically motivated in over-the-top ways, and politicians recognizing that and trying to give their constituents what they want?

That’s not precisely the bigger issue though.

The issue isn’t which came first or why it occurred in the first place. The issue is that, it is, in fact, the current political climate in our nation. For a number of years now, the level of venom in play in our national discourse has risen to an unprecedented level. The only thing that outpaces the hatred the right …   More

Rockville Centre Guest Column

'Silly you! The budget passed'

On March 31, Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced “historic” budget reforms that will slash $10 billion in current spending, assuming a redesign of state government, creation of efficiencies through consolidation, capping spending increases for education and Medicaid and transforming the budgeting process going forward.

Additional reductions totaling $45.3 billion are forecast through 2015, of which 86 percent involves less aid to localities.

Cuomo said bipartisan cooperation will give New Yorkers the “good” budget they deserve. Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos said, “This budget is a responsible budget that meets our goals of cutting spending, reducing taxes and empowering the private sector to create jobs.” Even Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver was surprisingly amicable, suggesting the budget will “restore New Yorkers’ faith and confidence in government, making it more efficient and more productive.”

These pronouncements, while nice to hear, hype the evident realities. We are being asked to buy into a budget that:

assumes real savings will be realized by “redesigning” a badly flawed system of government by decree, almost overnight. Really?

It hardly addresses programs that no longer serve the public good.

assumes the stimulation of revenues with the introduction of a “modernized tax system.”

assumes “Medicaid costs will only grow at their proposed target rates,” etc.

In my column, “Stop playing games with the budget deficit” (Feb. 3), I wrote “the oft-quoted budget deficit continues to hang over our heads like a dark cloud.” Little did I realize how correct that was. On Feb. 23, during a speech at St. Joseph’s College, Cuomo called our state budget numbers “scary” and said the process leading to its preparation is “a sham…. an illusion foisted on the unsuspecting citizenry by craven special interest groups and their corrupt enablers, career Albany politicians.”

If …   More

That’s The Way Things Are

Where, O Where Art Thou?

A couple of years ago, a buddy of mine told me that he obviously loves hanging out with all of us, meaning our group of friends, but he’d like to find the right girl and get married eventually. In that instance, it meant he was going on a first date that weekend instead of hanging with us. We’d all done that many times, which he pointed out as well.

The concept of “the one” is a hard one to wrap our minds around. There are certainly a few different ways to look at it, and the way each person chooses is determined by individual beliefs and experiences. For me, though, I’ve noticed that my views on the topic have changed a bit over the years.

Up until a few years ago, I had the belief that everyone (or at least the vast majority of people) has that one, individual, special person out there who’s “the one” for them. That one person who is the perfect fit for them in every way, who makes their heart sing and makes them happy in every way. And that they’re out there, waiting to be found.

Hmmm… maybe not.

Looking back on that now, for better or worse, I view that perspective as being rather naïve and, point blank, just young.

As you know from what I’ve mentioned in a few of my previous columns, over the years I’ve frequently had some rather, um, interesting experiences in my dating life. I’ve certainly had some immensely positive experiences in this arena, but I’ve also definitely had some that fall on the negative side of the spectrum.

I’m a big believer in trying to make something positive out of negative things if at all possible, and I’ve used those more negative dating and relationship ventures as learning experiences… to take a second and step back and evaluate what happened and why, and also re-evaluate my thoughts about things in the big picture.

And through the experiences I’ve had over …   More

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