Long Island is about to get a “Trump bounce.” A longtime friend of mine has sold his home in the Hewlett area (through an agent) to Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and the couple plan to move to the community sometime before school starts in the fall.
According to my friend, he sold the 10-bedroom home, with extensive waterfront and a helipad, for $26 million. He said the negotiations have been ongoing for six months.
My friend agreed to talk to me on the condition that I not reveal his name or the exact location of the property.
This is the plan: The couple realized some time ago that their political longevity in Washington was limited. They will keep their Manhattan apartment, but they decided to raise their children in a quieter atmosphere, where the three kids could make friends and play outside and still get a religious education. All three will attend the Hebrew Academy of the Five Towns.
In anticipation of their presence in the Five Towns, Jared and Ivanka have donated $5 million each to the Hewlett-Woodmere and Peninsula public libraries to update, upgrade and refurbish their buildings and collections. In addition, the couple have agreed to build a $10 million recreation center for teenagers on the property now occupied by the Woodmere shopping center, including Glatt Gourmet, Friendliers, etc. Those stores will relocate. The idea, apparently, is to compensate local residents for any inconvenience created by the Kushners’ security needs.
The helipad will facilitate Ivanka and Jared’s frequent visits to D.C., and it is expected that President Trump and the first lady will be occasional visitors to our community. When the first couple visit the Five Towns, all air space will be cleared for their arrivals and departures.
The house will be refurbished in a neo-’50s style, which has become exceedingly popular with a particular demographic: super-rich couples. It will include a kitchen in harvest gold, black and white tile floors and pastel fixtures throughout the eight bathrooms.
A staff of six, including chauffeur, nanny, butler, chef and two housekeepers, will be housed in a separate building that is being constructed on the property. That 4,000-square-foot house will also accommodate the Secret Service staff. Security details, including the number of agents who will be on the property, are not available.
My friend said that Ivanka has a keen interest in yachting, and the couple are looking to purchase a luxury boat large enough for cruises up and down the East Coast. Part of their reason for selecting our community was to be able to offer their children golf and sailing lessons in the coming years.
Kushner’s representatives have made overtures to the Seawane Club in Hewlett, and he is expected to apply for a membership. Apparently, news of his application got misinterpreted into rumors that the club was for sale.
Among the very few people who know about the move, curiosity is intense. Will Ivanka and Jared go to local restaurants, to reach out to the community in a friendly way? Will Ivanka go to a nearby hair salon, or will she continue to use her own staff for hair and other beauty services?
What is known is that the couple have already committed to sponsoring the entire Five Towns Community Fair, which is held in September. There is some talk that the president will make a brief appearance at the event, to connect with his significant base in the community and to support his daughter’s move to Long Island.
A little-known fact about Jared Kushner, according to my friend, is his obsessive fear of rats. Therefore, because of their new home’s proximity to the water, a variety of state-of-the-art rodent repellents will be installed. These include high-decibel noise pulses, chemicals (non-toxic to humans) around the perimeter and a new technology developed in Israel that combines sophisticated traps with sonar devices.
Not everyone will be happy with the Trump/Kushner move to Long Island, but the couple plan to maintain a low profile. After years in the spotlight, my friend says, they want a normal life, especially for their kids. They plan to host soccer matches and pool parties on their property, and perhaps even a softball game on the baseball diamond in their new backyard.
Sounds unbelievable, doesn’t it? Well, it is. But it isn’t fake news, either.
Happy April Fools Day!
Copyright 2019 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.