When did we become so unkind?

I spent a lot of my childhood, and now, consequently, a lot of my adulthood, at my uncle’s lake house in Pennsylvania.

Some of my fondest memories revolve around being there — whether I was fishing with my grandfather, exploring the outdoors with my cousins or curled up with a good book on the beach, taking in my surroundings. As I’ve gotten older, I find that I love the area for different reasons. I still like to fish and spend time outside with my family and my dogs. But I also love exploring the Poconos communities around the house, which, in many ways, feel like a second home to me.

Readers of the Bellmore, Merrick and East Meadow Heralds have likely seen my name pop up on their community Facebook pages throughout the almost three and a half years that I’ve been working here. I like to stay involved with community forums, because they’re not only a great source of information, but also a great place for me to network, and meet the people in the communities that I cover and love.

So just as I do here at home and when I’m working, I’ve joined a few community social media pages in the Pennsylvania region I travel to. Again, I find that it’s a great way to stay in the loop, find new spots to visit, and again, receive a variety of information that I might not know otherwise.

A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through a page that I check frequently, and came across a post from a page contributor that read: “NY Trash Destroyed The Poconos.”

It took me a moment to really wrap my head around what I was reading, because for one, the region is economically very reliant on tourism from places like New York, and because I couldn’t believe that people actually felt that way. I’d imagine that everyone has had their own experiences with “outsiders,” but I’d venture to guess that the vast majority of the people who’ve found second homes in Pennsylvania are just like me and my family — kind, courteous and respectful. Fellow commenters on the thread confirmed my beliefs.

Whatever reasons he had to make that post didn’t matter in the long run. In the grand scheme of things, it was just another blip on the social media timeline. It didn’t make any waves, and it certainly didn’t stop “outsiders” from visiting the area, or going to homes that they own.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve thought a lot about that post, not because I took insult in his words, but because I can’t imagine ever going out of my way to post such a ridiculous, negative thing — on any platform, for any reason.
It’s like the age-old saying: “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

It doesn’t matter that the post came from a place other than Long Island, because I’m sure we can all think of similar ones. Comments become vicious and people start attacking one another, while ignoring the actual problem: We, as a society, can be extraordinarily unkind.

There’s a lot going on these days. Things are polarized, and I feel it — the agitation, the stress about the way things are. The world we live in today isn’t perfect, but was it ever?
The point I’m trying to make is, if you have to go out of your way to say something completely unnecessary, take a moment and ask yourself: Is it worth it?

The world today may not be perfect, and often it feels overwhelmingly negative. We don’t have to make it worse. When things feel harsh and disconnected, kindness is a quiet strength, as is thinking about the things we say, or write, before we say them.

We can choose to be mindful of what we say, understanding that our words have consequences. The world may not be perfect, but each of us can make it a little better by simply pausing, reflecting, and opting for kindness whenever we can, because in a time when so much feels out of our control, this is one thing that isn’t.

Jordan Vallone is a senior editor who writes for the Bellmore, Merrick and East Meadow Heralds. Comments? jvallone@liherald.com.