A mom’s search for a kidney for her son

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In her pursuit to help her son, Patrick, get another kidney to replace the only one he has, which is now failing, Long Beach resident Mary Delay has taken to handing out fliers on the streets of the city to see if there might be a willing donor.

Patrick Delay, a 31-year-old chef in Point Lookout, was born with one kidney that was not fully functioning. In 2009, his mother donated one of her kidneys to him. That organ has been failing since 2020, and Patrick undergoes dialysis treatments three times a week while he waits for a new kidney.

“I’ve been on social media,” Mary said earlier this week. “But I’ve also handed out fliers on the street. I’ll do anything I have to.”

Sometimes, she said, she stops in at a store and asks if she may put up a flier. “Some people say yes and some people say no,” she said. “But it’s the kindness I find that touches my heart. I think there’s more good in the world than bad.”

Delay, 63, the owner of a spa called Healing Oasis on East Park Avenue, has seen enough of the bad. Her husband, Dennis, had to retire after 34 years as a New York City police officer in 2019 after he fell backward on the street and suffered brain bleeds.

Securing a kidney is no simple task. A donor must not only be the right fit, but is required to go through an extensive medical examination and a psychological evaluation. The need for kidneys is always acute.

According to the National Kidney Foundation, 90,000 people in the United States are currently on the national transplant waiting list for a donor kidney. In New York state, the wait for a new kidney is six to eight years.

The NKF reports that more than 661,000 Americans suffer kidney failure. Of these, 468,000 are on dialysis, and roughly 193,000 live with a functioning kidney transplant.

A diagnosis of kidney disease means that the kidneys are damaged and cannot filter blood the way they should. The damage can cause waste to build up in the body. Kidney disease can also cause other health problems, such as heart disease.

In the kidney transplant world, there is something called a swap. If a potential donor is not a fit with a kidney patient, the donor can have a kidney removed anyway, and it can be given to someone else who is a good fit. In exchange, the original patient is eligible for another kidney from someone else.

One person who was willing to donate a kidney to Patrick Delay was Angelina Van Doff, a massage therapist at Healing Oasis who has been a friend of Mary’s for years. Van Doff was not a fit for Patrick, but she plans to donate a kidney to someone who needs one. That will make Patrick eligible for a kidney from someone else.

“Mary donated her kidney to her son years ago, and she’s a very healthy girl,” Van Doff said. “She can still have a glass of wine with us when we go out once in a while. I know if it were my son, she would do the same for me.”

Meanwhile, Patrick, a graduate of the prestigious Culinary Institute of America in upstate New Hyde Park and a chef at Salt Air, a farm-to-table restaurant in Point Lookout, manages a schedule that includes the three dialysis sessions per week.

He said he currently feels “great,” but the treatments leave him tired.

The mention of his mom brings a smile to his face. “She’s a selfless person,” Patrick said. “If it was possible, she would give me her other kidney.”

Those interested in donating a kidney can visit columbiakidneytransplant.org.