Kids are moving home again. Why not me?

Perhaps you’ve seen the recent flood of stories about grown children moving home again. Or maybe you have your very own 35-year-old leaving his laundry on the floor. Apparently kids are landing on their parents’ doorsteps at various stages of adulthood due to bad luck, the bad job market, bad marriages or bad karma.

Most reports focus on the difficulties suffered by the older generation when their sons and daughters, who should be moving on, move in. The mortgage was paid off, the dog died and now your daughter and what’s-his-face have pitched their tent in the parental home. And, of course, much is said about the suffering of young people who struggle with issues of dependency and control when they move home. How do you maintain your self-esteem and sense of autonomy when you’re back sleeping on the old twin bed under the Bob Marley poster?

But I can’t worry my head about that: these 30-somethings should have managed their lives better, been more responsible, made the break from Mom and Dad a long time ago. Yeah, the job market is bad, but who asked them to take six years to finish college?

What everyone has missed is the obvious spin on this trend. The children who should be going home again are the people like my husband and me, who are well into our 60s and ready to let go of the responsibilities that have burdened us all these years. Many of my friends in our sandwich generation are now taking their elderly parents back into their households. I say we can butter the bread on the other side. So what if my mom is 89 and Dad is 92; they’d probably love to have us back under their roof.

I called the elders in Florida and told them we were thinking of moving in, returning to the parental nest for some old-time nurturing and home cooking. My dad listened very carefully, and then asked, “Who is this?” I wasn’t discouraged.

The symmetry is lovely. Don and I give up the house we don’t really need anymore, stop worrying about whether we need a new roof and embrace a simpler life, with two older, wiser people to look after us.