Goodness 'Gracious', where are your manners?

Mind your manners — a phrase seemingly lost on today’s kids. Does that really come as a surprise in an age where television shows like “The Jersey Shore” and “Bad Girls Club” are glorified?

One Malverne woman refuses to settle for the notion that etiquette is obsolete and decorum is dead: Arely Mendoza-Cantos, founder of the Always Gracious Academy of Etiquette and Charm based in Malverne, believes manners are key to success — whether dining with a business associate or undergoing a job interview.

“I teach my clients tips on how to develop an attractive personality,” the 44-year-old El Salvador native recently told the Herald. “For example, my students learn the proper way … to give compliments to the people around them to make them feel welcomed and comfortable.”

Growing up in El Salvador and attending Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school, manners were part of Mendoza-Cantos’s culture. They were taught and practiced whenever and wherever possible.

“The Catholic school I attended in El Salvador included etiquette as part of the school curriculum,” she said. “At home, we ate our meals at the table, we used the flatware and we prayed before and after the meal, and always asked for permission to exit the table.”

By the time Mendoza-Cantos relocated to the United States at 17, propriety was her second nature. When she opened Always Gracious after moving to Malverne seven years ago, it was with the intent of providing what Mendoza-Cantos considers a lost art of sorts.

“Manners are learned skills and need to be reinforced,” she said. “In the past, etiquette was taught at home by the family, especially by the mother. Nowadays, both parents usually work long hours, which leaves the children with poor access to role models to learn proper table social manners.”

Mendoza-Cantos, who is married with a 6-year-old daughter, found Malverne to be a perfect place to open her business. Its proximity to New York City and other parts of Long Island played a big role, but it was the community’s built-in quaint charm that captured Mendoza-Cantos’s heart.