Yom Kippur: A Day of Forgiveness and Love

For members of the Jewish community Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year. From sunset, Sunday, Sept. 27, until after dark on Monday, Sept. 28, they will devote themselves to prayer, self-reflection and seeking reconciliation with God and one another.

Yom Kippur is all about our relationship with God; we are aware that we have fallen short and missed the mark in one way or another in our lives. Before we can return to God, we must make right our relationship with family, friends, coworkers and neighbors.

The truth is people are a lot more fragile than God and need of our sincere contrition. God can overlook our pettiness and foolishness but the human heart cannot. Words can wound and cruelty can break hearts and lives. Yom Kippur begins when we ask our neighbors and loved ones to forgive us; it does not end until we seek to be at one with God. That is why we call Yom Kippur the day of ‘at-one-ment.”

Seeking forgiveness is never easy. Admitting that we were wrong and saying “I’m sorry” can be painful and embarrassing. Have you ever noticed that celebrities and public officials rarely admit guilt? Often, their “apology” is qualified. They will say, “If my actions have been offensive to anyone, I’m sorry.”

From a Jewish perspective this is not a true apology. An apology begins with recognition of what we did wrong, remorse, an admission of guilt, and a commitment to correct whatever it is that we have done. Repentance is hard work; it involves loosing face and honestly presenting ourselves to the one we have hurt.

But if we are to seek forgiveness, we must be willing to grant forgiveness as well. I suspect that there isn’t a person reading this column who hasn’t been hurt or offended at some point during the past year. Too often we carry those hurts around with us and allow them to fester. There may be family members with whom we have not spoken because of some distant disagreement or offense. We may not even remember why it is we argued in the first place.

Carrying our hurts is as damaging to us as it is to others. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

While Yom Kippur is a Jewish holy day, I suspect the world could use a day of reconciliation and forgiveness. There is, after all, no higher form of love than forgiveness.