Peter Pan Syndrome plays out in families

On a recent family vacation I noticed that the only kids who played harder than the little grandkids were the adult “kids.” And I recognized the behavior as a real shift from my own childhood.

My kids are in their 30s and early 40s. They arrived on vacation, broke out the paddleboards, sunfish, kite boards, surfboard, snorkeling gear and, before clearing their lungs of airplane oxygen, hit the beach. From early morning to evening, they swam and paddled and actually flew through the air. At any given moment I could look out the window and see one of my children being tossed by an errant wave or knocked silly by a runaway surfboard.

Meanwhile, the grandkids played on the sand or swam, minded mostly in shifts by one of their parents or grandparents. The older ones got to try out the kayaks and boogie boards. They will grow up loving all this stuff.

The 30- and 40-somethings never stopped, never sat down, never took a breather. It struck me that they exemplify the Peter Pan Syndrome, but in a good way. I’m using the term that’s widely used to describe adult men and women who never grow up emotionally, to describe adults with a buoyant and childlike capacity for having fun. They haven’t lost the piece of themselves connected to childhood abandon and thrills.

Come with me back to the ’50s and ’60s. My parents took us on vacations all the time, but we never did anything, tried anything new or, god forbid, broke a sweat.

Most times we went to Atlantic City (before the gambling), walked on the boardwalk, stopped at Mr. Peanut, ice skated in the winter but otherwise didn’t move very much at all. In the summer, if we went away, it was to the Catskills. We went to hotels where the main event was eating. Flanken (boiled beef) was the nouveau cuisine of the day, and the only exercise was lining up outside the dining room three times a day for meals. It was reminiscent of herds of huge animals pawing the ground and slowly moving toward the feeding grounds.