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Carol Ruchalski is the person of the year
Roughly 1,050 children in the United States under age 15 were expected to die of cancer in 2022, according to the American Cancer Society, which lists cancer as the second leading cause of death for children, after accidents.
Mary Ruchalski was a seventh-grade student at St. Agnes Cathedral School in 2017 when she was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare cancer that affects muscle tissue. After she underwent months of intense treatment, doctors told her there was nothing more they could do.
“Why not?” Mary replied.
Her mother, Carol Ruchalski, said that moment was the turning point. It was then, she said, she knew something more had to be done about her daughter’s, and other children’s, cancer. Mary died in 2018, but her memory has lived on in the hearts of friends, family members, and others in the community.
Because of the rarity of her cancer, little progress had been made in combating it, and due to a lack of research funding, there had been no new treatments since 1982. Having seen what her daughter went through, Carol decided to create The Mary Ruchalski Foundation in her honor, with the goal of raising awareness of and funding for the fight against pediatric cancer.
All the money the foundation raises goes to research at the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory, where scientists are working on new pharmaceutical treatments specifically for rhabdomyosarcoma. On Dec. 15, Carol and her husband, Francis, visited the laboratory to present it with a $100,000 check. To date, the Mary Ruchalski Foundation has raised almost a half-million dollars for the cause. It has also given more than $100,000 to other families of childhood cancer patients facing financial hardships.
Carol Ruchalski’s efforts to spread the word about pediatric cancer have inspired many others to volunteer to help raise money and awareness across Long Island. For all of her work, the Herald is proud to name her its 2022 Person of the Year.
“What I am most grateful for is how the youth have embraced Mary and our foundation,” Carol said. “I love how kids are so involved. And some of these kids never even met her, but they love her story and want to get involved.
Mary is remembered for her talents as a multisport athlete and a top-notch student. She played lacrosse, basketball, soccer and competed in swimming as well, and was a top player on Rockville Centre’s 10-and-under Police Activity League softball team that played in the state championship in 2016.
Some of her close friends and classmates wanted to help the foundation, and in 2020 they helped launch the Play 4 Mary campaign, which began by sponsoring charity lacrosse games and has, much like the foundation, continued to grow, and now includes girls’ and boys’ football, basketball, volleyball, soccer games and clinics.
Kathy Paesano, one of Ruchalski’s close friends, who has been active in the foundation since its inception, said she was amazed at how quickly the Play 4 Mary campaign took off, and proud to see so many people supporting the cause. To date, more than 3,000 young athletes have taken part. Their efforts have motivated others to get involved, including members of the St. Agnes CYO swim team and the Be Like Mary campaign, which was created by her friends with the goal of spreading kindness to others.
“I am so proud of Carol and all that the foundation has accomplished thus far,” Paesano said. “She continues to advocate for her sweet Mary and every other child battling cancer. The foundation has become a part of our community, engaging even our youngest to get involved and raise awareness for pediatric cancer.”
Ruchalski said that celebrating Christmas with her family was something that Mary always loved, and that, thanks to this family tradition, she came up with the idea of hosting a tree lighting in September, which is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.
Each year, Rockville Centre and neighboring communities decorate trees with gold lights, and place gold bows outside homes and businesses in memory of Mary and so many other children who have lost their lives to cancer.
Mayor Francis Murray, who lost a niece to the disease, had held events focusing on pediatric cancer when Ruchalski approached him with the idea of using her foundation to help spread awareness across Long Island.
“Year after year, Carol continues to make a tremendous difference by shining a light, supporting pediatric cancer families, and financially supporting research grants,” Murray said in a statement. “Her tireless efforts, in honor of her beautiful daughter Mary, have positively impacted the lives of countless families.”
Today, the Ruchalski Foundation hosts events in nine different villages as well as three high schools and four elementary schools.
Carol said that her other daughters, Ashley and Lyndsey, who both took part in the Play 4 Mary program, her son, John — Mary’s twin brother — and her husband, Francis, have been helpful in the crusade. This year, for Christmas, they placed two trees decorated with solar-powered lights next to a bench dedicated to Mary in Sea Cliff.
Jackie Quinn said that she first met Carol when Mary and Quinn’s daughter, Ronan, were in kindergarten, and she has seen the ways in which Carol transformed a tragedy into something positive and impactful.
“The amount of strength she must have is crazy,” Quinn told the Herald. “She gives so much energy to raising money and awareness. She turned everything into such a positive experience for the kids in the community.”
For the past two years, Ronan, who’s now 17, has helped make and sell Christmas ornaments to raise money for the foundation. She said she admires Ruchalski’s strength and drive, and wanted to help pitch in.
“I’ve witnessed her incredible kindness with everyone she interacts with,” Ronan said. “She made me realize that what I wanted most in the world was to change it for the better, the way that she does.”
Ruchalski said that if there is one thing she hopes people will take away from their experience with the foundation, it is “the love of a family for a child.”
“Even if we don’t raise any more money, but people come away and say that Mary Ruchalski was the kindest, sweetest, loving person, I want to be like that,” her mother said. “Then maybe we’ve done our job.”
