Stopping bullying in the schools

Talk about timeliness. Last week's column, "Responding to a Trio of Tragedies," was followed by three more incidents this week: a principal held hostage, resulting in his school going into lockdown; a 13-year-old boy committing suicide in the Bronx; and a report that two-thirds of all middle school students say they have been bullied.

In each case, there was no outlet for rage. It is incumbent on us to prevent anger from escalating to that point.

This week, I will examine a number of the anti-bullying programs that are proliferating in the schools, from the elementary to even the college levels.

If left unchecked, youngsters who are bullies develop into more aggressive adults, and children who are easily dominated tend to develop what the research calls a "victim mentality" in later life. Neither is a desirable outcome.

The effects of bullying are becoming more widespread. Many children simply refuse to go to school because they dread the physical and verbal abuse they will receive from classmates.

Those who do attend are in a constant state of anxiety, which affects their performance. They are threatened, made fun of, embarrassed, excluded, isolated. Sometimes they are targets of vicious rumors. The latest twist is cyberbullying on the Internet. And now we're hearing about "sexting," in which pictures injurious to a person's reputation, shared among supposed "friends," are circulated to the student body, with the goal of humiliation.

The better news is that across the country, school districts are developing anti-bullying programs in response to this growing problem. A common thread is the need to work not only with students, but also with staff. Let's take a look at some of the options for school districts.

•"No Bully" is a San Francisco-based non-profit group on a mission to "make school a place where every student feels included by peers and accepted for who they are." The assumption is that children who are "different" become outcasts. Unfortunately, kids can be cruel. Insecure children find some solace when they band together against any child who stands out because of race, religion, handicap, appearance, dress, sexual orientation and the like. This program helps schools to develop anti-bullying policies and implement campus-wide programs to address bullying.

•The goal of "Steps to Respect" is to reduce bullying and improve school climate. Its premise is that the sooner the start, the better the chance for success. The program teaches elementary-school students a different set of the three R's: recognize, refuse and report. The program also addresses destructive bystander behavior. Children are taught how to be assertive and develop friendships. Again, speaking from experience, I find that there is a misconception about the word "assertive." It seems to have a negative connotation when, in fact, it means "acting with confidence." Staff training is also a key component of this program; children need to feel the support of adults around them.

•"Stamp Out Bullying" gives children a five-point strategy. It focuses on the potential victims rather than on reforming the bullies: The acronym S-T-A-M-P stands for: Stay away from bullies. Tell someone. Avoid bad situations. Make friends. Project confidence.

•"Bullies to Buddies" extends its reach beyond the school. It is dedicated to "ending the suffering of victims of teasing, bullying, cyber-bullying, workplace bullying, [as well as] school bullying." Parents should know their schools' policies regarding bullying. If they are dissatisfied, they need to band together, perhaps under the umbrella of the PTA.

•"Positive Action" aims to decrease violence in school. The philosophy is to teach students to treat others with dignity, the way they would like to be treated. The program aims to instill greater respect, empathy and kindness among students to produce a more positive learning environment, which in turn improves the school's climate and produces greater achievement.

According to experts, in order to decrease bullying, schools should:

1. Increase supervision.

2. Begin anti-bullying programs when children are young.

3. Teach inclusion so that no child is ever left out.

4. Identify bullies early- before they get set in their ways.

5. Make the distinction between tattling and telling a teacher what he or she needs to know.

6. Encourage students to take a stand- rather than just stand by.

Dr. Steven Kussin, a high school principal for 21 years, is an adjunct professor at Hofstra University and an educational consultant for school districts around the country. His guidebook for administrators was published by Corwin Press. Contact him at stevekussin@aol.com.

(c) Dr. Steven S. Kussin, 2009