Okay, I’m here … now what?

Most high school students are familiar with college before they even set foot on campus; it has been their goal, their motivation to do well in school, and a reason to power through Advanced Placement classes, SATs and other standardized tests.
It is the light at the end of the tunnel that students have spent years reaching out towards, each their own Gatsby, dreaming of fresh starts and new experiences. You begin to imagine what life will be like in the college you have selected, and compare it to the high school you are in now.
For some, the idea of college is an idealized haven where you can have fun, make friends, and take the classes that interest you. For others, it is a pool of anxiety with too many swimmers, all trying to reach the other side without drowning. In reality, one’s college experience will most likely fall in between these two extremes, but we’ve all spent so much time imagining what college will be like in our heads, that by the time we finally get there, we end up thinking, Okay, I’m here ... now what?
When I first arrived at the SUNY New Paltz campus, I waited in line with other freshman to receive my dorm room key. I was surrounded by a fortress of suitcases and bins, and as my parents began to lug them upstairs, small insecurities like over packing, for example, spiraled in my mind.
I wondered if I had brought too much stuff. Fearing the embarrassment of being the only one to over pack, I looked around the room frantically, chastising myself for just having to bring that extra pair of shoes and packing a few too many novels. There were so many things I didn’t know, like what I wanted as a major, or if I would be able to make friends. I wasn’t sure if I would end up getting really homesick, and I feared being overloaded with work only the first week in.

The things I needed to do to get into college were clear, and you could list them like they were a grocery list: I had to study, do well in school, apply, pay tuition and buy textbooks. All that followed, however, was a blur, despite the crisp imaginings I had spent my summer immersed in.
After I finished unpacking, I parted heartily with my parents, promising phone calls and texts. Although saying goodbye wasn’t easy, it felt right. I knew that being independent is a huge aspect of college and I was ready to go off on my own, discover who I am, and make new friends.
Yes, I was anxious like most, about finding people I could befriend and connect with. There were so many unfamiliar faces, but with a simple “hi” those unfamiliar faces quickly mirrored mine in laughs and smiles, and before I knew it, I had a group of friends that just keeps expanding.
I realized that enjoying the first few days of college depended a lot upon my positive outlook. I am optimistic and stand with open arms to the amount of possibilities that lie before me. There is so much change that can take place and it can’t be predicted.
After talking to some of the friends I have made, I realize that a very rare amount of us truly know what is ahead in the next four years. And so when I ask myself again, Okay, now what? I am relieved to discover that my answer, I don’t know, is not an uncommon one. It feels liberating, because it means that there is so much ahead.

Kohn, an Atlantic Beach resident, is a freshman at SUNY New Paltz.