Say hello to a "Goldberg Goodbye"

It’s been observed that some folks leave and don’t say goodbye, while others say goodbye and never leave.

Indeed, how we part company says a lot about who we are, what we value, how we think and how we feel.

Thus, some folks can separate from even dear friends and family with just an offhanded “see ya” or “catch you later,” while others engage in a dramatic heart felt, and, sometimes, even tearful, farewell. Some folks say “g’bye” or “chow” or “I’m outa here,” some announce “so long” or “until we meet again.” Many will wave goodbye or blow a kiss, while some just turn their backs and head off into the sunset.

Years ago, I had a buddy, Robby Goldberg, who practiced what we al came to know and call the “Goldberg Goodbye.” Whether it was bidding adieu to relatives, pals, acquaintances or even a shop clerk, whether it was the end of a long visit or a chance encounter, Robby Goldberg wouldn’t leave the scene without making certain that he was (within reason) leaving on good terms, with nothing unresolved and with all parties having said (and heard) goodbye knowing that it was goodbye. While some equated “good bye” with a smart purchase, as in “good buy,” Robby Goldberg always made sure that his goodbye was not just good, but meaningful, sincere and great.

Now, depending on the number of “goodbye-ees” involved, a Robby Goldberg Goodbye could take a whole lot of time, as Robby located each individual, exchanged a personal comment, shook hands or hugged. More often than not, he would, after having finally departed, race back with one last thank you or joke or question, making it clear that his goodbye was neither perfunctory nor flippant but rather a genuine expression of appreciation for having been together, and a sincere demonstration of regret at the imminent separation.

Eventually this ritual (which sometimes was longer than the visit or meeting) was dubbed the “Goldberg Goodbye” and time was allotted in every departure’s schedule to allow for it.

Though those of the “toodleoo,” “gotta bounce” and quick exit genre found the “Goldberg Goodbye” exasperating, those of us who knew Robby found it (and its origin) poignant, endearing and inspiring. It seems that when Robby was a teen, as he left for school, he said goodbye to his father at their front door in a respectful, loving way that was nevertheless somewhat hurried and almost nonchalant and indifferent. As he raced down the block to catch his bus, he glanced behind him to see his father still standing, smiling and gazing after him. With that, Robby turned around and ran back to give his dad yet another hug and kiss, and, in a affirmation of their mutual love, wished him a good day as they said goodbye.

That afternoon, Robby’s dad was brutally torn from his family, and for years thereafter Rob insisted that his only comfort and consolation came from knowing that his final moment with his father had been one of peace, support and grace; an exchange of love and caring and gestures of deep affection. Their goodbye had provided closure in the broadest possible sense.

Yet, Robby was always quick to add that the “Goldberg Goodbye,” while recognizing the fragility and unpredictability of life, was not rooted in sadness. Rather the “Goldberg Goodbye” was a celebration of life; a declaration of how every passing moment, even as it passes, must be appreciated and acknowledged, and how every experience, even as it draws to a conclusion, and we move to the next experience, must be embraced and treasured.

Yes, the “Goldberg Goodbye” was an opportunity to put matters and feelings into perspective; to allow folks to express their desire to remain even while taking their leave and to show that within every goodbye there can be the excitement, enthusiasm, magic, warmth and love of hello.

© Copyright © 2013 Ron Goldman