Super Bowled over

I guess if I watched it more, I would better understand football. As it is, however, until recently I thought “football” was about foreigners called soccer (I know, “what’s soccer?”) while a “quarterback” was what you got from a broken payphone (I know, “what’s a payphone?”).

Anyway, to me, “making a pass” and a “fumble” are always terms related to dating, “tailgate” was a four-point moving violation, not a party, and N.F.L. stood for “Not From Lawrence.”

Yet, though I’m not a football fan, I absolutely love the Super Bowl. I may not know the difference team or coach (or business class or first) and I may sometimes slip and say punch bowl or salad bowl, but ultimately I love the Super Bowl for a whole bunch of reasons:

First of all, no matter what you’re doing or how busy you are or where you have to be, you can always beg off by saying “hey, I gotta watch the Super Bowl,” and no one will think less of you. In fact, you may rise in people’s estimation because to step away from “ordinary” life in order to step forward and watch the S.B. is deemed by many to be an act of patriotism, of being in touch with both blue collar and blue suit (and even skirt.) That, by the way, is yet another reason why I love the Super Bowl: because it’s the definitive secularly religious and religiously secular “holiday” for everyone: it celebrates neither spectator sect not individual nor location nor custom nor event nor (until recently) anything else somebody someplace can find fault with. It’s just a game played by those called “professionals” even though their “work” is playing a game.

I also love the Super Bowl, because as a teacher of public speaking, I find it the quintessential source and starter of conversation. While the sports mavens with their licensed and overpaid team shirts and jackets and caps and sweatshirts, etc., etc., can talk about stats and plays (though not those of Shakespeare) and odds (and tight ends,) the rest of us (even the shy, non-athlete and non-spectator) can talk about the commercials, commercialism, the interviews, the hype, the peculiarities (real or invented) of specific players, the stadium, the crowds, the venue, the fans, the press coverage, the entertainment, wardrobe (or lighting) malfunctions, the food served, the beer consumed, the parties and, of course, the ideals of sportsmanship, teamwork, commitment and loyalty.

Yup, Super Bowl Sunday is incredibly unique because I (and millions of others) think about it, talk about it and love it even though I pretty much know very little about it and connect to it even less!!!

Indeed, even as I pen this column the game has just begun and obviously there is as yet, no winner. But truth be told, who cares? It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and what ultimately matters to so many is not what happens, but rather that it happens at all and will happen again and again and again to the delight of millions.

© Copyright © 2013 Ron Goldman

Ron Goldman is an attorney in private practice with offices in Cedarhurst and can be reached @ 1-800-846-9013