Know what rabbit ears are? You're old, dude

If we want to wax philosophical, we can debate whether traditional rites of passage such as college or marriage have become obsolete (or certain verbs, like “wax”). We can argue whether some concepts such as virginity and middle age have become irrelevant. Some say yes, some say no. But all of us of a certain age can agree that impressive numbers of daily tools, rituals, products and machines have gone the way of the dodo bird.

I’m glad I know what it means to set type, for example. Those of us over the age of 50 are walking repositories of the arcane, the remarkable and the no longer useful. Case in point: rabbit ears. Remember how we used to adjust the antennae on a TV to get reception? Man, that is so over. But it is satisfying to have that knowledge, to carry with us the history of the world in our time. My parents brag about the iceman and the milkman and the egg and butter man who were part of their daily lives.

Certain things are gone for good; others are going. I worry about libraries, for example. They’re still here; they try to stay relevant by having computerized book searches, Kindles on loan, lectures and art exhibits. Still, there’s not much the library has that you can’t get on your home computer. It doesn’t make me happy to say that. But who still knows how to use a traditional card catalog? Or what the Dewey Decimal System is?

Can you brew a cup of coffee in a pot on the stove? If you’re part of the Keurig generation, you have no idea how to bring the water to a boil and then let it percolate over the grinds without boiling over. Or, do you know how to fill a fountain pen? Format a floppy? Dial a phone? Use a skate key? Maneuver your way through a party line?

Someone in my book group used the word “feckless” the other day and I realized that language, too, becomes obsolete. If someone asked your kid to turn on the wireless, would he know you meant the radio? Does he know what a radio is? Or consider the word “gay,” which is never used anymore to mean happy and high-spirited. Another one is “groovy,” which just doesn’t work in common parlance. Or for that matter, does “parlance”?