The best of times, the worst of times for women

As women ascend, does misogyny spike?

Let’s start with a quiz: Exactly what part of their bodies are men willing to enlarge or remove or bleach or burn or exfoliate or liposuction or disfigure with waxes and curling irons and injections and dyes? How many guys spend their time and money putting fat in and taking fat out in a never-ending pursuit of physical perfection? Do they obsess about injecting fat into their thinning lips or sucking fat out of their expanding behinds?

The answer is, not that many, especially when compared with the number of girls and women who willingly undergo painful medical procedures to meet standards of beauty promulgated by social media and a hard-to-change culture in which men often decide how women should look. Some women say they were miserable growing up because boys called them flat-chested. Others say all the guys did was stare at their big breasts. Some wanted enhancements. Some wanted reductions. But the frame of reference often was the approval of boys and men.

This is not a new story, but there are new threads.
Now, apparently, small breasts are “in.” According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, in 2023, more than 76,000 American women had elective breast-reduction surgery, a 64 percent increase from 2019. Who sets the standard? Often the values come from men rather than the women themselves. Influencers who have enormous power over our teenagers send messages subliminal and overt, saying: You are not OK as you are. Something needs fixing.

The New York Times ran a story last week, “The Power (and Relief) of a Smaller Bosom,” reporting that the number of women seeking breast-reduction surgery has increased, especially among those under 30.
Why are more and more young girls choosing surgery?
To be clear: Breast reduction is often necessary. Ultimately, it is a decision between a woman and her doctor. It’s a big deal; the procedure can cause scarring and loss of sensation, and it requires anesthesia. For many teenagers and women, it greatly changes their life for the better, but results are not guaranteed.

I hope the increasing numbers of patients are seeking the surgery for sound reasons, not as a fashion statement.
Looking out at the political and cultural panorama at this time and date, I see women empowered in unprecedented ways. And perhaps because of that new power, they are being attacked, also in unprecedented ways. As women ascend, as we elect women to Congress and perhaps the White House, there is a companion piece: a significant movement to keep women down, to deny them their rights, especially reproductive freedom. Much of the misogynistic rhetoric begins at the top, with a presidential candidate and his acolytes who demand laws that control women’s bodies and choices.

When I was 24, married three years, I became pregnant, had a miscarriage and a D and C — dilation and curettage — at a local hospital. Emotionally, it was wrenching. But from a medical point of view, it went smoothly. The doctor met us at the hospital. He did the procedure and I went home. I was healthy enough to have two healthy children in the following years.

Today, because of draconian abortion bans passed by mostly male politicians in a number of states, and the overturning of Roe v. Wade, which guaranteed the right to abortion, women who miscarry risk bleeding to death or suffering for hours before they can access basic life-saving treatment. Doctors are afraid to treat them. These measures are anti-woman, archaic and cruel.

By an accident of the time in which I lived my reproductive years, I had a safe post-miscarriage D and C. Now, 50 years later, we have fallen back to restrictive practices controlled by politicians, led by Donald Trump.
These threads connect in a tapestry of what it feels like to be a girl or woman today.

We need to be strong within ourselves to reject any messaging that tells us our bodies need fixes and surgeries. We have to be fiercely committed to women’s freedom to choose if and when to have children.

Pay attention to the messaging targeting women. Don’t sign up for surgery that alters your body without thoughtful screening and counseling. Don’t go for shortcuts, or any other kind of cuts, to achieve someone else’s standard of beauty.

Support individuals, and vote for individuals who see the ascendancy of women as fulfilling the promise of democracy.

Copyright 2024 Randi Kreiss. Randi can be reached at randik3@aol.com.