Twenty-five years have passed since five Seaford High School graduates left home for work and never returned. Their names are now enshrined on the memorial outside Seaford High School: Timothy Haskell. Thomas Haskell. John William Perry. Robert Francis Sliwak. Michael Robert Wittenstein.
On Sept. 11, Seaford once again gathered to remember them.
For the families, the anniversary isn't simply about remembering how the five men died. It’s about remembering who they were when they were alive: sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, athletes, friends — and young men with futures that were abruptly taken away.
For Barbara Haskell, that means remembering the two sides of her husband, Tommy, whom she met in high school.
She and Tommy began dating during their senior year, in 1981, and married seven years later. Tommy was known to many for his strong, reserved demeanor. He was a leader and a man of few words. At home, Barbara knew a different Tommy.
“He was our hero first,” she said.
He was a playful father who knew how to make his daughters laugh. Once, he turned their kiddie pool into a makeshift lazy river, holding a watering can over the pool to create a waterfall as his daughters floated by. He went to their soccer games and dance recitals. On family trips to Disney World, he led them through the theme parks, sharing Mickey Bars and turkey legs with his daughters.
Twenty-five years later, Barbara sees parts of Tommy in the daughters he left behind — their leadership, determination, athleticism, stubbornness and playfulness. His youngest daughter, she said, even bears an uncanny resemblance to him.
The passage of time has brought a new generation, too, one Tommy never met. His granddaughters are growing up, but without the love, laughter and guidance Barbara believes he would have given them. Her family will make sure they know him through the stories they tell.
“I’m so proud of the lives they lived and the love they gave,” Barbara said of Tommy and the four others who died.
The effort to preserve the memories of those men has driven the Seaford 9/11 Memorial Committee for a quarter-century. Its president, Kenneth Haskell, knew that mission from the beginning. Tommy and Timmy were his brothers. All three were New York City firefighters.
Ken, who was 32 at the time, was off duty when the first plane struck. He had previously served with the New York City Police Department, and had responded to the World Trade Center after it was bombed in 1993. On Sept. 11, he reported to his Brooklyn firehouse, where he and other off-duty firefighters commandeered a bus and headed to Manhattan.
Tommy, 37, was a captain with Ladder 132, and was an acting battalion chief that morning.
Timmy, 34, was a firefighter with Squad 18. He was off duty, but had been staying at another firehouse because his regular quarters were being painted. When Timmy walked outside and saw the burning towers, he immediately went to help.
Ken later learned that Timmy had assisted a man with a medical emergency in the north tower. When another firefighter needed help on an upper floor, Timmy headed upstairs. The firefighter who called for help, and the man Timmy assisted, got out before the collapse. Timmy did not. His remains were recovered four days later.
Tommy's remains were never found.
Ken said that learning about Timmy's final actions made him proud, but not surprised. “I was proud of my brother,” he said. “Not surprised at the choice he made.”
Dawn Haskell Carbone, their sister, remembers her brothers differently. She still calls them “the boys,” the same way she did growing up.
Tommy, she said, was driven and serious — a man whose life revolved around what she calls the “three Fs: family, football and the fire department.”
Timmy was the wild one. He loved biking, soccer and extreme sports. He was funny, adventurous and seemingly willing to jump off anything.
The brothers' path to the FDNY was hardly surprising. Their father was a firefighter, and the family grew up on Neptune Avenue, just six houses from the Wantagh Fire Department. The fire service was part of the family's life for decades.
Haskell Carbone, who serves as secretary of the memorial committee, has spent the years since Sept. 11 trying to ensure that the five men remain at the center of the community's remembrance.
“Sometimes, you know, it’s 25 years later, things get forgotten,” she said. “To me, I still think it was yesterday.”
The committee was created in the chaotic months after the attacks, when residents began giving money to the families simply because they wanted to do something.
The Haskell, Perry, Sliwak and Wittenstein families helped turn roughly $10,000 in community donations into something lasting. The committee built the memorial outside the high school and established the annual Patriot Awards, $2,000 each for five graduating seniors in memory of the five men. It also funds an annual trip for Seaford High School's graduating class to the National September 11 Memorial & Museum.
Ken Haskell and his cousin, retired U.S. Army Col. David Haskell, spoke at this year's remembrance ceremony, which included a flag presentation by the Nassau County Police Department Color Guard, escorted by the department’s Pipe and Drum Honor Guard.
John Perry was a Seaford attorney, an NYPD officer, an actor and a lifelong athlete. He competed in five New York City marathons, took part in Hudson River swimming races, learned several languages and volunteered his legal services to friends and organizations.
On Sept. 11, he was at One Police Plaza, filing his retirement papers when the attacks began. He immediately ran toward the World Trade Center.
John’s brother, Joel Perry, has described him as a man who loved New York City deeply. Earlier this month, the city honored that connection by naming a street near Central Park John William Perry Way.
Robert “Sli” Sliwak, a member of Seaford High’s class of 1977, was a co-captain of the school’s championship football team, and earned All-County honors and a full scholarship.
His memorial biography describes a gentle, easy-going man who was humble about his accomplishments. He loved his seven siblings, his wife, Susan, and their three children, Ryan and twins Kyle and Nicole. His greatest joy was being a father — whether playing tackle football in the basement or walking along the beach with his family.
And then there was Michael Wittenstein. Barbara Wittenstein, his mother, remembers him as “the nicest kid you ever wanted to meet.”
Michael was 24 and working at Cantor Fitzgerald. He was bright, funny and generous, a Mets and Jets fan who was often the life of a party. He loved his friends and his family and would help anyone who needed it.
He also had a wedding to look forward to. Wittenstein and his fiancée were planning to be married in October 2001. Relatives from Israel were expected to attend.
His mother says seeing Michael's photograph again, surrounded by the other Seaford graduates, is emotional for her.
For Haskell Carbone, the committee continues it work in order to preserve the memories of the five men. Students who were born years after the attacks will encounter their names at the high school. They will visit the 9/11 museum. They will compete for the Patriot Awards.
The committee wants them to understand that those men weren't simply names associated with a tragedy. “They were real people like every one of us, living our lives,” Haskell Carbone said.
Barbara Haskell hopes that schools continue teaching the history of Sept. 11, but she also wants young people to remember what came afterward — the courage and unity that emerged from the tragedy.
And her sister-in-law hopes the community continues to remember the men themselves. When she stands at the memorial, she thinks about her brothers and the lives they never got to live — Tommy's granddaughters he never met, the family milestones he missed, and all the moments the five men should have experienced.
Twenty-five years later, she said, the work of the committee remains remarkably simple: “I just want other people to think of them, too.”
