How I will have a happy solo Hanukkah
It’s hard to believe we’re rounding the bend on a year of holidays since Covid-19 transformed our lives.
Spending Passover by myself was a novelty. Back then, I thought the pandemic would pass quickly, and I’d just have to make do for this one holiday. How naïve we all were! Then it was Shavuot, and I was faced with my second holiday alone, but it’s hard to feel depressed when surrounded by cheesecake, lasagna and ice cream. Next came the High Holidays. I knew I’d have to work at making these holidays meaningful and enjoyable, and with some planning and a good attitude, they were.
And now, here we are at Hanukkah. Novelty has given way to boredom, excitement to anxiety. It’s become the staycation that never ends. How can I feel joy during this Festival of Lights when I’m home alone again?
Well, for one thing, unlike the other holidays, this time we can use the phone, the computer and the car. I may be alone in my apartment, but through technology I can visit with anyone, anywhere, anytime (except Shabbat, of course). A big part of Hanukkah this year will be spent connecting with my friends and family on Zoom, Facetime, and other platforms.
But for the times I’m home alone, here’s my plan:
Avoid shortcuts — This Hanukkah, I’ll set the table with my nice dishes, open the wine I’ve been saving for company and polish the menorah. I’ll get the kitchen messy making latkes from scratch instead of buying frozen ones. I’ll wear my favorite shirt, even though I have to iron it. My enjoyment of the holiday — and every day — is in direct proportion to the effort I make.
Make light — Although you can only say the blessings over one menorah, you can light as many as you want after that. I’ll use a different one each night for saying the blessings, and I’ll get extra sets of candles so I can put other ones in other windows. The candles will multiply each night, becoming brighter and brighter, until the darkness is banished entirely. If you need a menorah please contact me at rabbi.ejc@gmail.com and I will be glad to give you one.
Turn up the music and be silly — Nothing resets my mood like music. From “Maoz Tzur” to the more modern compositions, I’ll rotate through old and new Hanukkah classics. I’ll spin like a dreidel and dance the hora, and be a complete klutz doing it, because I’m as graceful and light on my feet as a three-legged elephant. And I’ll sing along with the music, loud and off-key as usual.
Food and more food — Hanukkah, the holiday of oil, is not the right time to start a diet. Between the latkes and the sufganiyot, this holiday helps you bulk up before the first polar vortex hits. So, bring out the frying pan and enjoy every greasy minute of these eight days.
Presents — I’ll get myself a little gift to open each day. There’s nothing like setting aside something you like and anticipating when you will enjoy it. Knowing it’s there and looking forward to it is half the fun. With the end of the pandemic not yet in sight, and day after day of waiting and hoping, give yourself eight days when all you have to do is wait until sundown for a little satisfaction.
Finally, I will give myself a break — This year will be different no matter how much we try to make it like other years. I’ll miss the party I always attend, the people I always see, and all the social activities I look forward to each year. But when I’m feeling anxious about the future, depressed about the present, or nostalgic for the past, I don’t bury those feelings, or worse, let myself believe that I’ve failed somehow. These emotions are real, and I acknowledge them, but I choose not to make them permanent. It’s Hanukkah, a time of miracles, a time to celebrate our history of overcoming challenges far worse than we face now.
Let the lights of the candles ignite sparks of strength, joy, and resilience in you!
