In Oceanside, parents help parents at local online group

When Brian and Dena Driscoll, and Jim and Debra Vaccaro founded the Facebook group “Oceanside Without Limits,” a support group for parents of children with special needs, they couldn’t possibly have known the impact it would have on their community.

Now having amassed over 400 members from Oceanside and the surrounding area, the group is providing a community to hundreds of parents to ask questions and share their stories.

Launched on March 19, it saw an incredibly welcoming reception and its popularity has exploded over the last three months.

Brian, a detective with the NYPD, and Jim, a retired NYPD officer and Police Benevolent Association delegate, met each other through the department’s “NYPD With Arms Wide Open” program, whose mission is “to provide a forum where cops of all ranks, and their families, can attend meetings and discuss issues surrounding being the parents/ guardians/caretakers of a child with special needs.”

After personally experiencing the benefits of having a group of people to speak with, Brian, whose eight-year-old son Liam has ATRX syndrome, and Jim, whose fifteen-year-old son Matthew has downs-syndrome, decided with their families to create a similar organization in their own neighborhood.

“There’s plenty of children and adults with special needs that don’t have someone that they can talk to. So we said, let’s start something up,” Brian Driscoll said. “You’d be surprised how many parents out there are afraid to ask a question, they’re afraid to talk about their kid with special needs. They truly do feel alone.”

By creating a space where these people can be seen and heard, “Oceanside Without Limits” aims to alleviate these feelings of isolation and open up families to the possibilities of how parenting a child with special needs can be done.

“There’s so much information on this Facebook page that somebody who is hesitant to ask in person can throw their question on their Facebook and boom, somebody with the same experience, they have that knowledge,” Jim Vaccaro said.

Though the group is still in its infancy, Jim and Brian have expressed desires to eventually organize family events for the members.

“That’s the goal in the future, maybe have a mom’s night, a dad’s night. I think it would be a great opportunity to get together with other fathers of children going through this stuff,” Driscoll said.

In a statement from the families, ““Oceanside Without Limits” is more than just a social media group; it represents a beacon of hope and solidarity for families navigating the challenges of raising children with special needs. Through this initiative, the Driscolls and Vaccaros hope to foster a network of empathy and understanding, making it easier for families to find the support they need.”

As the group grows larger, there are plans to reach out to the Oceanside schools and PTA. Both the Driscolls and Vaccaros cannot overstate the importance of being educated on children with special needs.

“We’ll be walking in the supermarket, and people will tilt their head and smile. What is that? Because I look at my son like he’s just like anybody else in the world,” Vaccaro said. “Of course they don’t mean any harm by it, it’s just that people don’t understand.”

And this education begins with the destigmatization of children with special needs.

“I want to show the public and the community that there are no limitations for my son,” Vaccaro said. Given the opportunity to succeed, he will. There shouldn’t be any head tilting. You shouldn’t generalize anybody because everyone is an individual with their own different abilities.”